Monday Memos // 105

Listening:

“Pressure to Party” by Julia Jacklin. I fell fast and hard for Julia and she is now on heavy rotation. I feel like all her songs are just saying the things in my head.

“Pool Party” by Julia Jacklin.

“Maybe'“ by Buck Meek. Saw Buck and Mat Davidson (Twain) play at a house show and I am a BIG FAN of both.

“The Sorcerer” by Twain.

Reading:

Life Without Longing - “Romantic obsession is my first language. I live in a world of fantasies, infatuations and love poems. Sometimes I wonder if the yearning I’ve felt for others was more of a yearning for yearning itself. I’ve pined insatiably and repeatedly: for strangers, new lovers, unrequited flames. While the subjects changed, that feeling always remained. Perhaps, then, I have not been so infatuated with the people themselves, but with the act of longing.”

Naming Plants - I love naming anything.

Of David Hockney and Joni Mitchell Holding Hands - I am one of those people that reposted this on social media.

Joni Mitchell and David Hockney at L.A. Louver gallery in Los Angeles. (image by Jacob Sousa via nytimes)

Craving:

Last week I baked a loaf of banana bread, chocolate chip tahini blondies, and some kind of sunflower seed butter blondie/bread/bar that turned green inside. Saturday I had fried eggs on avocado toast for breakfast and poached eggs on avocado English muffin for lunch. I ate a lot of Chocolove dark chocolate and orange squares in work stress spirals. I drank a lot of fizzy drinks, shaved goat cheddar cheese on chickpea pasta and green pizza crust, and I put kale cashew pesto on everything. My insides probably look wild. This doesn’t even sound like I’m speaking a real language.

Wearing:

Saturday night I put on a gold sequined tube top to watch television while it snowed outside. I also painted my toenails a weird blue that I got from the Allure beauty sale at work—it’s Yves Saint Laurent and it’s called “Kinetic Blue.”

Watching:

I have gone deep on a Nurse Jackie binge. Fleabag season 2 comes out today!!! Olivia Colman’s Oscar speech is amazing and now I love her even more. I watched an episode of Miracle Workers, written by Simon Rich (go read his books now), where Steve Buscemi plays god (his brother Michael pretends to be god in Nurse Jackie)—definitely entertaining but opinion not fully formed yet.

Treasuring:

Friends: Sharing baked goods with them. Getting Honey Mamas from them. Wandering the city with them. Having lunch with them. Whining to them. Laughing with them.

Feelings: Last week I found myself one day flailing back in my chair at work uttering, “I hate everything” (I don’t really mean it) and then a few days later I teared up on the sidewalk and thought, “I love everything” (probably also not true, but better). The woman who interpreted my aura photograph told me I was full of feelings and easily influenced by my surroundings. “Suddenly you’re sad and suddenly you’re happy.” Yes.

Pink signifies softness, sentimentality, sweetness, yearning, sensitivity, and being emotional.

Monday Memos // 78

Listening:

"This Is America" by Childish Gambino.

"The Suburbs" by Arcade Fire (Father John Misty cover). 

"Break-Thru" by Dirty Projectors. 

Reading:

The Double-Layer Chocolate Cake I Make for My Son’s Birthday — I hope to one day have a column or book chapter called "on dessert."

My parents followed this rule and clearly it shaped me: Why I Let My Kids Eat Dessert Every Night

I might have to take on Dorie's tradition for myself or someone in my family. Chocolate-chocolate birthday cake. (image by Gentl and Hyers for The New York Times. Food stylist: Michelle Gatton. Prop stylist: Amy Wilson.)

Craving:

I participated in a taste test of store-bought kosher dill pickle spears this week. It was one of the first taste tests that didn't make me too full or too lethargic. Maybe a little extra salty. My favorites were Claussen and Boar's Head.

When I went to pick up the few remaining jars of pickles I saw Alec Baldwin. I'm always tempted to tell these celebrities in my sightings that I love them in _____. I usually just end up playing it cool and letting them be on their way. I saw another woman do a double-take and wait outside the Whole Foods (she then ended up at another little market down the street too). I went on my way, lugging four or five jars of pickles back to Tribeca — in great fear I might drop the bag and have to start the pickle pilgrimage all over again. 

I remember one summer my cousin went through a massive jar a day. (image via the splendid table)

Wearing:

I've been dreaming of a specific pair of coveralls. A boilersuit. A jumpsuit. Whatever you call it, I have been searching everywhere I go for one. I wanted it to be somewhat fitted. I wanted it to be zippered or a button-up situation. I wanted it to be a color I enjoy and/or could easily wear (no white, no orange, etc.). I wanted sleeves — long or short but not sleeveless. For months and months I have been plagued with this desire to find one. So many online shopping carts filled and abandoned. If I had my sewing machine around I might've crafted one by now. 

Saturday I found it. It's a rich cornflower blue. It's cordouroy. (I almost got one in a Bill Cunningham blue, but I put it on hold at the vintage shop, walked down the street to their other shop where I found the winner, which fit even better.) I cannot wait to wear it all the time. 

I miss Bill. (Photo by Patrick Demarchelier for Harper’s Bazaar)

Watching:

Saw: Disobedience. Powerful moments, beautiful moments, intriguing moments, and slightly cheesy moments. David Edelstein says it best: [it] isn’t packed with surprises, but that’s not why you go to a movie like this. You go to watch humans with wayward emotions labor to make peace with (or opt to war against) a formal, ritualized way of life. You go to see them argue over such words as “freedom” and “choice.”

You've Got Mail. I started watching this movie sometime in 1998 or 1999 and didn't get to finish it. Instead I witnessed some horrible animal behavior and was a bit scarred. Anyways, I finally watched the entire movie last weekend and really enjoyed it. Plus, it's set in and around my new running route and neighborhood. Even the smaller roles are great: Parker Posey! Greg Kinnear! Heather Burns! Steve Zahn! Now I've got "Dreams" by The Cranberries stuck in my head. 

I still need to got to Barney Greengrass, I do love some good smoked fish.

Treasuring:

Mornings: I tried out a new routine last week. I woke up at 6am every morning and ran outside. The early light, the blooming flowers, the podcasts, the flush on my cheeks, it felt so nice. I was exhausted by 5pm each day, but it was fun. I like trying out these new routes and ways of life. The morning is a grand time.

Truth. (via emily mcdowell)